{"id":768,"date":"2025-01-15T04:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-01-15T03:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.oceanblogs.org\/oceanvoices\/?p=768"},"modified":"2025-01-16T10:31:45","modified_gmt":"2025-01-16T09:31:45","slug":"not-a-doctor-lessons-ive-learned-from-quitting-my-phd","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.oceanblogs.org\/oceanvoices\/2025\/01\/15\/not-a-doctor-lessons-ive-learned-from-quitting-my-phd\/","title":{"rendered":"Not A Doctor: Lessons I’ve learned from quitting my PhD"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
I never considered myself a quitter. Usually, I finish what I have started: a 30 minutes high intensity workout after the Christmas holidays for example or the extended version of the third Lord of the Rings movie, also a bachelor program in environmental science and a master in marine science in Kiel. It\u2019s not like it wasn\u2019t painful sometimes, it\u2019s not like I never had doubts \u2013 but somehow, I could always convince myself to keep going instead of giving up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not so with my PhD in coastal science. I started in 2020 and quit three years later \u2013 way before I crossed the finish line. This post is neither meant to justify why I ended my science career nor is it meant to encourage you to do the same. I rather want to share some life lessons that I have learned before, during and after quitting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. Quitting your PhD is not the same as giving up<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
It is a matter of phrasing: I\u2019d rather say I \u201cquit\u201d my PhD instead of \u201cgiving it up\u201d. Why? Well, saying I \u201cgave up\u201d gives a bad vibe, doesn\u2019t it? It implies that I wasn\u2019t capable of finishing \u2013 which I don\u2019t think is true. Yes, sometimes I felt overwhelmed and not capable. But with the right motivation, focus, support, and more time, I am sure I could have managed. So, I prefer the term \u201cquitting\u201d. It means, that I made a conscious decision to leave this career path and find one that suits me better. Close one door, open another one \u2013 you know the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2. Making the right decisions is hard<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Of course, the decision to quit wasn\u2019t easy and is the result of a long and complex process of evaluating emotions, thoughts, conversations, facts and dreams. But when I finally made up my mind, It didn’t feel like a failure but like instant relief – as if I had made the right choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The hardest part was to communicate my \u201cright choice\u201d to others in the science community. Looking into puzzled faces, explaining why I no longer wanted to do the job they all love so much, justifying why I was \u201cthrowing it all away\u201d although I had \u201calready come so far\u201d \u2013 all of that is tough. It makes you rethink everything over and over again, it makes you feel their disappointment and maybe even makes you doubt the decision, that felt so right before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Luckily, I have family and friends who don\u2019t need any explanations or justifications but support me no matter what \u2013 a lesson I have already learned long ago but is always good to refresh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3. Miss, don’t regret<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Now \u2013 more than one year later – I still don\u2019t regret leaving academia behind. I miss it, though. I miss learning about coastal science every day, I miss field surveys and research cruises, I miss discussions with colleagues and friends in the office (often not related to our science), miss moaning about our struggles together and empowering each other. I’m definitely a bit melancholic when I look back, but it doesn’t torment me, so it’s all good.<\/p>\n\n\n\nDrone surveying at Stohl cliff – some of the best days during my PhD.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
4. You don’t need to know what you want, but what you don’t want<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Some might think quitting doesn\u2019t get you anywhere. I disagree. Especially when it comes to tough decisions (and deciding about your career definitely falls into that category), I’ve always been a fan of the process of elimination. It might be slow but it is still progress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In my case, I realized that the kind of work I did during my PhD was not the kind of work that would fulfil and excite me in the long run. So, I eliminated it. After taking a step back I realized that writing about and communicating science was always what I enjoyed the most. Not knowing exactly what to do with this great discovery, I applied to become a journalist with the local newspaper. Pretty spontaneous, pretty bold choice- but I got the job. It\u2019s totally different from what I did before, but turns out, the writing and human interaction bring me joy and excitement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, is that what I want to be now \u2013 a local newspaper journalist? Well, I don\u2019t know yet. What I know is that my elimination process led me to a profession that works better for me. So, step by step, I am moving forward, enjoying the journey, and excited to see what\u2019s next. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
5. Motivation is key<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Truth be told: I could have jumped to conclusions much earlier. Instead, I waited for years to be brave or desperate enough to decide to quit my doctoral journey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Throwback: In 2018 I submitted my master’s thesis. 160 painful pages of geological interpretations of continental shelf data. After that draining experience, I told myself not to consider starting a dissertation, as it would be even more exhausting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But one thing led to another, I got several offers that would naturally lead into a PhD and therefore a scientific career. Thus, motivated by the opportunity and the challenge, I took up one of them. What was missing in my motivational cocktail was the actual intention of becoming a scientist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And that leads me straight to my advice for everyone, who starts a PhD of their own: Before you sign up for it, check your intrinsic motivation. If you want to become a scientist, a PhD is your way to go. If you start the dissertation for other reasons (you just like the subject, it\u2019s a good first job after Uni, it helps you to stay in the country) that is totally fair, too. But then don\u2019t lose yourself and don\u2019t be afraid to let it go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
6. The power of vulnerability<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.oceanblogs.org\/oceanvoices\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/77\/2025\/01\/IMG_1736.jpeg\")